Sickness

Well, it's a half hour till Owens school program is supposed to start and he is home in bed napping.  I am so sad that he can't go and even more sad I don't get to see him up there.  I was really looking forward to my last kindergarten Christmas program and seeing him shine!
Owen has been home since last Wednesday afternoon when he came home early with a cough and not feeling well. Since then he has had the cough plus a fever, vomiting and lots of tv time.  It has been a long week with him sick.  I feel so  bad for him and it's so sad to see him suffering so.  We made a trip into urgent care on Sunday only to b told it was a cold.  By Monday the vomiting and fever set in along with him being extremely exhausted. We went in today and doc said it is influenza.  She advised us to keep him home for the rest of the week, get lots of rest and fluids. We need to watch his cough making sure it doesn't get worse because this flu has been leading to pneumonia.  Doc said he should b good by the weekend as long as he rests, etc.  All I can pray for now is that no one else comes down with this!  I am still on the mend from my up and down illness since before December.
Just looking forward to a happy and healthy holiday!

Ready for snow

Buddy says "bring on the snow!"

Naughty or nice?

Buddy

Caught with his hand in the cookie jar!

Holding my kids tighter

<p>I have been terribly saddened by the news of the events in Newtown CT yesterday.&nbsp; If I sit and think about it too long I am thrown into a fit of tears.  Although events like this in the past such as the theatre have been very sad this event has hit me hard. 
Thinking about those parents standing outside the school waiting for their kids to come out and they never do.  Hearing the story of a teacher hiding her kids in a bathroom and being sure to tell each of them that

that she loves them because she was sure they were going to die is unbearable to hear! I hate all the news coverage but it so hard to pull myself away from it as I try to wrap my head around it all. Newtown CT seems so far away but this tragic situation seems so close and so personal at the same time. I can't imagine what those little kids that came out alive are feeling and what that town is going through but I am feeling the grief along with them.

My baby girl

Is getting too big!  I just bought her a size 14 pants!  Crazy to think from here she could b moving into juniors clothing soon, crazy!

Owenism's

This morning was the kids Christmas program at church. Owen took a shower in our bathroom today since grace was getting ready in the other bathroom.  He asked dad what kind of soap he had, Aaron told him it was man soap.  Owen replied with "ooh , I will smell like a man!" 
He got all dressed up with his dress shirt and angry birds tie and said to me he looked like a man going to work!
After church we went out for breakfast and as we were leaving I hear him say "whew, all that singing wore me right out!"

Sick Elf

Day 3

I forgot

Day1

Ooh Buddy...

Day Two

Buddy the Elf

Our Santa's helper showed up today along with his suitcase and a note for the kids.
Grace was a little disappointed that it wasn't a girl but she was still really excited.
Owen was crazy about him!  It was so hard for him not to touch him. He kept whispering secrets to him and commenting on where he thought he might show up next.

Just some pics

Here are a couple pics i just wanted to get off my phone seeing as they were good memories!

Sweet Sister

Grace left this note in Owen's slippers and put them on his bed before she left this morning!

Stir crazies

Yes, it is starting to set in, stir craziness! Up until today I have been fine going between tv and napping. I am feeling somewhat better today compared to the last couple days. My gas pain that has caused me the most pain has finally found a way to move along. I am still taking it easy just some boredom and four walls starting to close in on me!
I wanted to thank everyone for all of their kind thoughts and prayers through this crazy time. Lots of thanks for my Dad and Kay for coming to Madison for the day of surgery to be by my side and hang with Aaron. Also, Kay for making it a long day and coming to hang with the kids that evening. Of course my Mom for making the journey and staying for a few days to help out and keep me company! I also have had some great friends and neighbors that have been bringing us meals and coming by for a visit! It all has meant a lot to us!

Today is the day

Twiddling my thumbs till surgery time. Have to check in at noon for a 2pm surgery. Just ready to get it all behind me!
Picked up my Mom yesterday. Kay will be coming up to the hospital later along with my dad. Not sure if I will be released to come home tonight or tomorrow. Probably wont know till after surgery. Stay tuned!

Today's Appointment

Today was a sobering day.  Walking into the Carbone Cancer Center at the UW Hospital was like entering the twilight zone.  I just couldn't believe that I would ever be in this position, I don't think anyone would ever think they would be in this position.  I appeared to be the youngest one there and even with the patients who were donning oxygen masks and bald heads I felt like I caught the most looks there.  It was a very soothing, relaxed and nice atmosphere, as much as it could be I guess.
I first had a meeting with the nurse practitioner who ran down all of my medical history and asked me an interesting question.  She asked why "I" believed I was there and what I was told by my doctor as to why I was there.  I told her that I was told a level was elevated in my blood work that had a possible marker that my tumor was cancerous.  She started off by reassuring me that it was not certain by any means that I did in fact have cancer.  She and the doctor both stressed that this was merely a precaution in case it ended up the tumor was cancerous.  The only indication they have that there is a possiblitiy of cancer is that the Inhibin level was a bit high in regards to the range for my age.  The doctor said that other than this little glitch in my blood work everything else checked out good including the CT scan.  But, because this level was elevated they wanted to make sure I was put into the hands of someone that could be sure and take care of things correctly IN CASE there was cancer found during the surgery.  Unlike my regular OB doctor they have the capability of staging me for cancer if something is found and getting rid of it in the correct manner.

Going forward from here the plan is to take the tumor out.  Along with it the ovary for sure, mostly because it is encased in the tumor.  Dr. Al-Niami will take out the tumor and ovary by a laproscopic procedure through my belly button.  He will then run the tumor over to pathology and put a part of if under the microscope.  If it checks out normal they will come back close up my small incision and wake me up and it will be a outpatient procedure.  IF, for some reason they find some cancerous cells they will then have to open me up and do a remove and debunk process.  This means doing an incision, performing a hysterectomy and getting rid of any suspicious cancer cells and checking over all the other organs in my lower abdominal region. 
The Dr. did say that the chances that this is cancerous is very slim but overall they just want to be cautious.  I am being very optimistic in believing everything will be just fine and I will be in and out of the with the least evasive procedure and this will be behind me.  However, I still find it hard to not focus on the possibility.  I guess that is probably normal.  I do feel a sense of peace just knowing what is going to happen now!  I am scheduled for surgery on the 30th of October so I won't have to be in limbo much longer!  I know I am in good hands and was really impressed with my Doc and all of the staff there.  Seems like they have this all down and have done it a few times over :)
Thank you to everyone for your tremendous support and please keep the prayers coming!

Angels

I had a strange thing happen to me today. I decided to take some time and research a few things on the Internet in regards to my situation. I was looking up some info on hysterectomy and hormone therapy, pros and cons and side affects, risks, etc. I admit it was all a bit too much and became very overwhelming for me. It the midst of my search the phone rang. It was my friend Nicole. She asked how I was doing and broke down in tears. She was so calm and sympathetic. Our conversation was very comforting to me. Nicole has been through this before having had thyroid cancer and I know she knew exactly what I was feeling. After getting off the phone with her I began to feel like that phone call just didn't happen by chance. I got the distinct feeling someone was looking down on me and they sent Nicole to comfort me today!

Treasure

So as I was making Graces bed today I came across an old photo of Aaron and I under her pillow! It kind of brought a sweet tear to my eye. Although, It makes me wonder.... Does she swear and curse us after we have punished her? Is it like a voodoo doll? I guess it's a good sign I found it in one piece! Lets hope it stays that way. Of course I did put it back under her pillow :)

CT Scan

CT scan today.  Pretty much a piece of cake although cake would have been a lot better tasting!  That burium stuff they make you drink is enough to make you gag.  The contraption they put you through looks space age and you feel like your floating as it whiz's you through.  The whole process from the time they get you in the room, put the iv in and whiz you through maybe took 20 minutes!  I would much rather have had that than the prodding ultra sound!  Of course they don't tell you anything.  I talked to my doc today to confirm a few things and she said the results will go directly to Dr. Al-Niami in Madison for Tuesday's appointment.  So here I wait again.  I did ask her as to weather the ultra sound will show a definite sign of any cancer and she said no.  They are basically looking for any other growths on my other organs, great.  So, I certainly think that the waiting is the hardest.  I am stumped as to what questions I even have at this point cause everything is so up in the air.  The biggest question in my mind is as to weather to just opt for a full hysterectomy or not.  I kind of feel like rather than dealing with this all over again to just get rid of it all.  It also might not be up for debate if it is what the doc think needs to be done.  The literature I read from my doc calls for a full in the case of a granulose tumor.
As for now, I will do what I can to stay busy and make the time pass till Tuesday!

It all begins....

Tomorrow I begin the journey starting with my CT scan in the morning.  I just wrote a message to my doc here in Janesville and one of my questions was asking what the CT scan will show.  I know she said that they will be looking at all of my organs to make sure there are no other irregularities.  Great, another thing to worry about I don't need any more irregularities thank you!  I am wondering however if the CT scan will show any sign of cancer on the tumor?  I am just one of those people that wants to know, I can't handle this maybe crap, ha!  I like to have a plan.  I hate it that I don't have a surgery date yet its driving me nuts!
Anyway, I am not nervous about tomorrow.  I like it that there won't be any pain involved and I can just lay back and let the machine do its thing.  I am not looking forward to drinking that gross stuff but I will manage.  I had many offers from people to join me but I decided I will be fine on my own.  I figure I won't find anything out tomorrow so I will just go and get the job done!

Prayers

Email I wrote to family and friends on October 7th:
Hello Friends and Family,
I am writing to inform you of some news I have received over the last few weeks.  I hate to be sending all you a message through email but there are so many of you out there that are good friends and family that it is just impossible to make this many phone calls and reiterate the information over and over can be exhausting.  However, I did feel I needed to find a way to communicate this information to the important people in my life.  It was important that you all hear this news straight from me rather than through the grapevine.  So please don't take offense that I haven't reached you in person

A few months back I had learned that I had a cyst on my ovary.  They had been monitoring it by ultrasound and over the course of 6 months it had doubled in size.  The doc had said it probably should just be taken out.  Before doing so they wanted to run some blood tests.  This past Friday I went in to go over the results with my doc.  One of the tests had come back with a marker that showed signs that the tumor could POSSIBLY be cancerous.  That being the case it was decided by my doctor that I needed to be turned over to a Gynecological Oncologist to be treated from here.  She referred me to a doctor that works out of the Carbone Cancer Center at the UW Hospital in Madison by the name of, Dr. Al-Niami.

From here I will be going back into the clinic in Janesville for a CT scan on Tuesday October 9th where they will check over the rest of my internal organs and look for any signs of cancerous growth anywhere else.  On Tuesday October 16th I will go into the Madison clinic to meet with Dr. Al-Niami and have my pre-op.  Surgery is not scheduled as of yet but I am guessing it will be done by the end of the month.

As far as the surgery and what it entails they are considering at the very least my left ovary and uterus will have to be taken out.  At the very most it will be a total hysterectomy.  The paperwork I have been reading from my doc says the recommendation is a full hysterectomy.  It is unclear how this will be performed yet, if it will be done by a robot laparoscopic or by an incision.   As for the type of tumor I have is called a Granulosa Cell Tumor.  I was told that if it is cancerous it would be localized to inside the tumor therefore removal of the affected areas would eliminate the need of any post operative cancer treatment, whew!  This type of tumor from what I understand won't be positively diagnosed as cancerous until they open me up and take a look at it.  The blood test done is only an indicator that there was marker for cancer being there.  Side note:  The test that indicates the big bad fatal cancer did come back negative, so big relief there!

As for how myself and family are doing.  I am holding up.  I understand that it is not yet "diagnosed" as cancer but that word is hard to look past.  Aaron has been great, he was with me at my appointment when we got the news and he has been very strong and supportive.  My immediate family and close friends here in Janesville have been wonderful.  Everyone is a little shell shocked and not knowing what to ask or say right now.  I have had tremendous amount of support from offers to take the kids, offered visits to take my mind off of things and any help I could need will be there when things start to roll.  That is part of the reason that I reached out to all of you as well.  You can never have too much support and prayers!  It is early in the game but I want everyone on my team for the pregame!  I believe that when all is said and done it will all be behind me and I can breathe a sigh of relief and that is what is bringing me peace with this right now!  As for the kids, the "C" word will not be mentioned, Owen won't understand and the word will only scare Grace.  We will let them know I will be having surgery but nothing much further than that unless it is really needed.

I will be sure and keep all of you updated as this process unfolds.  I plan to use my family blog as a update forum.  You can visit it at http://sagoking.blogspot.com/  I believe there is a way I can put your email address in so that you will be emailed as I make updates.  I also look forward to catching up with all of you 1 on 1 as the weeks go on don't hesitate to make the call to me if I don't get to you first.  You all mean the world to me and look forward to having your support and prayers!
Love to you all,

Into the groove

I have to say I could get used to this schedule! Grace up at 6am, mom waking up and down to work out by 630. Grace wakes Owen at 7am before she is out the door. Owen out the door at 815am and mom hits the shower and all ready by 930am for the day! Little bit a grace time and little bit a Owen time! Mommy time too :)

Silly O

This is how I found Owen brushing his teeth this am!

Ninjago's

So Owen's new obsession is Ninjago by Lego. I am still trying to understand it! He got tuned into it by his neighbor friend Carson across the street. After many weeks of Owen constantly talking about playing Ninjagos with Carson he bought his own last night. Upon putting him to bed he insisted in having the gold playing card that came with NRG Cole to bed with him to cuddle with it! It was too darn cute of him I couldn't resist.
So, if any of the g&g's are looking to get in good with owen keep your eye out for Ninjago!

First Day of School 2012

 Today was Owen's official 1st day of school.  Grace started yesterday and Owen's class was split in 1/2 for the 1st and 2nd days.  Owen was SO excited and kept asking if it was time to go yet.  He was out of bed on his own and got to see Grace off this morning which was cool and I got a few pics quick before she left.  I forgot to get pics of her on the first day :(
As for the parents we are doing well.  Aaron stayed home in the morning to see Owen off.  I did very well.  I did get some tears welling up when he was lined up and heading inside.  Owen did give me a nice hug and then after that got a sad face so it was hard for me to watch him.  There were two Mom's there that were also sending their youngest off to school and they were holding it together so that helped.  I am sure my moment will come.  Maybe a little bit now as I write this and the house is so quiet.  I miss my little buddy.  It reminds me a bit of when Grace was off to school and I was by myself then.  Just another chapter in life.  I actually had a big realization when I got the call last week about the position as an aide sub for the school district.  I had my moment then!
As for Grace she has had an awesome start to the year.  Besides the bus being a 1/2 hour late to the bus stop!  She was late for band class but everything worked out.  They are supposed to be dropped at the middle school and shuttled over on another bus to the intermediate school but because they were late they missed the shuttle.  Her driver was nice enough to drive them over to the intermediate school!  She really likes her teacher, so far, she says she is very nice.  Grace also seems to have a nice mix of classmates.  She has several girls she knows and one girl is a friend she made in 4th grade that she really became good friends with, yay!  I also know her Mom on a first name basis which is always a big bonus.  She also told me she is sitting next to Jace which I think might be a boy we had teased her about a few years back that she might of had a little crush on, wink, wink!  Dad will have fun with that one!  
Overall it has been a great start to the school year, I can't complain!  Now, what to do with myself?!  Time to head to the grocery store I guess.  A mother's job never ends but I'm not complaining!

Owen waving goodbye :(

St. Louis Dance Nationals

On Wednesday the 11th we headed out to St. Louis.  We arrived about 7:30 or so to a beautiful, huge hotel in St. Charles MO, just outside St. Louis.  The hotel was an Embassy Suites that was connected to the convention center where the competition was being held and was where our whole dance team was staying.  We were on the same floor with most of the group so it worked out super! 
Thursday morning we headed out with the Griffith family who has 2 daughters, one Grace's age and the other a couple years younger that both dance.  We went into St Louis to the Gateway Arch and went up inside.  It was quite the ride up with all 8 of us piling in the tiny car!  Afterwards we walked a little ways to a older part of town and had a good lunch at a brewery that was recommended by one of the park rangers.  Following up on our trip to the Arch we decided a Budweiser tour was our next stop.  It was a really great tour.  The grounds were simply amazing almost Disney-like.  Beautiful flowers and buildings.  even the inside of the brewery was so ornate and over done with crown molding a chandeliers.  The stables were gorgeous and those horses are surely treated very well!  Following up the tour we each got to sample two beers out of anything Budweiser makes.  The kids of course enjoyed complimentary sodas and seemed to enjoy the trip for the most part.  That evening we headed back to the hotel for some swim and adult libations.  Our hotel had a managers reception every night of the week for 2 hours where you got as many free drinks as you could drink, along with snacks and soda.  It was a nice time to catch up with everyone from the busy day. 

All in One!

Friday July 13th:  Dancing Day - Awards
Grace's duet was in the morning and it was nice to get ready in a relaxed setting in our hotel room rather than in a crazy crowded dressing room!  Her and Caitlyn did a fantastic job with lots of energy and a clean routine!  I was so proud of Grace!  We cheered her on with big heads ;)  They ended up earning a Top First trophy and Grace was excited cause she got to take it home.  FYI: the trophy placements are as follows:  Diamond Elite Top First, Elite Top First and Top First.  Every group gets a trophy for how they placed and then they also give out awards for  top ten in each age group category plus some extra judges awards, etc.
Grace had her other two dances later that afternoon.  We spent most of the day just wandering back and forth between the hotel and the competition.  There were two stages of competitions going on and we did have some of our other dancers performing that day as well.  I have to say there was a crazy amount of talent at that show.  I believe there was at least 20-30 teams competing.  We were the only team from WI.  There were a lot of teams from MO of course as well as IL, TX, AR, OH, just to name a few.  There were a few teams there that do acrobatic routines and were incredible!  Grace's team dances did really well but it was a tough competition.  Her age group was quite large. They received Elite Top First trophies for Jazz and Hop Hop.  Our youngest team walked away with a 3rd place overall for age group in the novice category and a  trophy that was as big as they were!  Grace's age group also had a modern routine that she was not in but they received 7th place overall.  Our team all age production, Fosse Flare dance received a 4th place out of 5.   It was a fun competition.  Talent on Parade who put it on always makes it fun.  It is a crazy set up with all they put into it.  They were streaming live feed of the competition which I didn't find out till after Grace danced :(  They also have master classes throughout the day you can do for free, charity dance downs on stage and spirit theme days.  It is quite the production to say the least!

Jazz-Jump Jive

Hip Hop

Celebrity Showdown Day - We all went as LMFAO!

Saturday - Awards - Fun Day

Can you find Grace??

First Position in the House Tonight!

Saturday morning we headed out to St Louis again.  We wanted to take in the City Museum.  Everyone was raving about it and now I see why.  I don't even have words to describe it.  It is a children's museum even though they don't promote it as such.  It is also an architectural museum.  I was amazed at the detail that went into building this place.  It was huge with twisted metal and this and that all over it was so hard to take it all in!  There was an outdoor area that you could climb up twisting and turning tunnels and poles of steal.  There was an airplane and fire truck perched high above.  Dozens of slides to slide down.  Then there is the rooftop that is $5 extra that we didn't do that has a Ferris wheel, school bus and more mazes.  There is something there for everyone.  They even have neat little food stands tucked in every corner of every floor and serve alcohol and beer!  I guess only our pictures can give you an idea of what it was but even those won't best describe. I even added in a few from their Facebook page. It is something you have to see for yourself!  Truly amazing! 

Crazy Stage!

Airplane

Owen in Airplane

Inside Lobby of Museum

Slide

Mini Train

Caverns inside

10 Story Slide