Saturday, December 5, 2015

Heartbreaking loss

Yesterday Milton schools informed us of the passing of a schoolmate. Maria Dorn age 17 a band student and fellow flute player with Grace. Grace knew her but not closely. She does have a sister that is a freshman as well. Even though we didn't know her or her family closely it is so heartbreaking. 
Last year Grace had a band concert I attended by myself. I arrived early to get a good seat. I sat next to a lady that I realize now was Maria's mother, Alita. We ended up talking for an hour before the concert started after we figured out that our girls were in the same grade. We talked about the start of the school year and how it was for our girls. I had mentioned that Grace was having some trouble with a teacher and it was causing some anxiety with her work she brought home. At that time she would have some moments at home where she would get really overwhelmed with her homework and shut down. Almost as though she was having a anxiety attack. I had mentioned that I had thought about taking her to see someone. Alita started to tell me that her older daughter which happened to be Maria has had many issues of anxiety, depression and was overcoming an eating disorder. She gave me some advice on where I could start and how insurance would cover certain places but not others. She was the most wonderful person to talk with and the nicest lady. Her husband Michael is a teacher at Milton high and one of the nicest guys. 
Thinking back about this conversation with her and hearing her struggle then reading Maria's obituary hit me hard. Maria commuted suicide by overdose. Her obituary states her life was tumultous. By talking with those who were close to her there were many more factors that went into her struggle. She was a cutter and also realized she was gay. I just can't imagine having so much pain as a young girl. Life is hard enough at that age I can only imagine putting your own struggles on top of that. 
I will indeed be hugging Grace a lot tighter today and we will have a mom daughter heart to heart about Maria and her struggles. This is just so very hard to swallow. 

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