Friday, December 16, 2011

Ohh my.....

So here is Owens gingerbread man he made for school. I let him finish decorating it while wrapping presents today and he seems to have added a little more detail than I would have liked! Think I will have to attempt to remove the glue nipples before it gets sent to school! Boys!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Christmas Tree Hunt







Oh Christmas Tree, oh Christmas Tree how hard it is to find you!!  We decided to revisit the tradition of cutting our own tree this year.  The past couple of years we just couldn't find the time.  I know, sad but true.  This year we caught wind of a tree farm down in Roscoe IL.  Wasn't really that far maybe 20 minutes.  However, it was well worth it!  What a great place!  Roaring campfire, free hot cocoa and wagon/tractor rides out to the tree fields!  They even had some horse drawn rides for some of the fields!  Grace and Owen were wide eyed seeing the horses come by with their bells jingling!

Tree hunting wasn't quite the same in years past.  Most of the time we have several inches of snow to trudge through and its SO beautiful.  In some years even snowing huge beautiful flakes.  Not this year it was muddy and dreary.  We did luck out that it wasn't bitterly cold.  Good thing because Mom managed to forget the bag that had some of our gloves and Grace's boots.  So, here we go a tree hunting and Grace is in socks and Crocs.  Poor thing, she was a trooper, cold toes and all.  I managed to dig up one glove from my glove compartment for myself.  I found a set of mittens for Owen in a box I had in the back to go to consignment and away we went.  It seemed to take us forever to find just the right tree!  We were kind of picky because we had a different spot from last year in the house because of rearranging furniture.  We also didn't want to spend a fortune!  Anyhow, we finally decided on the tree we came back to about 3 different times!  We cut her down and Grace and Dad carried it back to the trailer to be hauled back.
While Dad got it on the car the kids and I went across the street where they had a cafe and store.  Outside they had a whole area with pony, train rides and small zoo of animals complete with a reindeer!  It was a really neat place that I am sure will continue to be a tradition in the coming years!

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Spreading Holiday Cheer

Today was a great day!  Grace, Owen and I headed out in the morning to the Salvation Army.  They were gearing up for Santa's Workshop which is a new event they hosted this year.  Santa's workshop was set up for kids of all income levels to come to the center and shop amongst donated gently used and new items for the loved ones on their list.  We arrived a little blind and not sure what to expect.  I had heard about the event through a friend of mine that was volunteering.  I asked her the night before if they needed more volunteers and she told me to just come a little early and make sure we volunteered our assistance.  I also excited for Grace and Owen to be able to shop because I thought it was such a cool concept.  We arrived about 9:45 with the intent to have the kids shop and volunteer our services afterwards.
When we arrived the kids were given a list to fill out with a number at the top.  When their number was called they were taken by a volunteer who guided them through the shopping area.  After the kids were settled at the craft tables in the waiting area I went to see if I could be of help.  Right away they set me up with a child to shop with.  Mikayla was 7 and shopping for more than a dozen people on her list.  With this year being the first workshop and the S.A. not knowing how their turnout was going to be they didn't have a limit set on how many people the kids could shop for.  Mikayla and I made our way into the gym where there were more than a dozen tables laid out with gifts.  Everything was sectioned off in different categories, bath & body, purses, jewelry, toys, books, movies, men's gifts, home goods, etc.  There was everything from brand new toys still in the box such as the Maro Kart Kinex Car Grace picked out for Owen to barely used Coach purses!!  Rumor has it the Coach purses came from Donna Hendrickson widow of the former ABC Supply President (the billionaires in town).  Anyway, there were some great items!!  Mikayla and I started down her list.  She was a foster child and on the list were her current foster parents, previous foster parents, brother and 4 other foster brother and sisters plus a couple of different sets of Grandparents, etc.
This will probably be one child that will be in the back of my mind forever.  We had such a great time shopping and she was so excited!  She was a cute, sweet girl with a tinge of body odor emitting from her.  When noticing this I had such mixed feelings of sadness and joy at the same time.  Joy of being able to help her have gifts to give.  Sad, knowing that she was a foster child obviously passed through the system.  I can't even begin to grasp what her life may be like.
I told Grace about her later that day and tried to put it in perspective for her.  I had told her Mikayla was a foster child and explained what that meant.  It came at a convenient time.  The day prior Grace came to me and said she has a school friend, ironically named Mykayla, that confided in her that she may be taken from her parents.  Grace had asked where her friend would go and seemed concerned about it all.  This provided an opportunity for me to give a better example as to what a foster child is and how it works avoiding the scary details.
My experience with Mikayla, 4 year old Jordyn who had the cutest little santa purse and Casey, 10 who had some speech/learning disabilities really touched me.  I will always remember the look on the parents faces seeing their children come back to them with garbage bags full of wrapped gifts.  All of them were SO appreciative and so thrilled thanking me and wishing us a Merry Christmas, it touched my heart!  Casey's Mom was concerned that he would be too picky during the shopping when indeed he was the least of all of the kids.  He basically let me pick out gifts for him seeming a little overwhelmed!  All of the kids and parents were so patient.  The wrapping station took a while and had to wait in line for quite a while at times.  The kids were also given a prize and got to pick out a free coloring book on their way out.
I was so sad when I had to leave to get Grace to dance.  Major Elaine from the Salvation Army begged me to stay and just take one more child but Owen was on the verge of meltdown.  Upon leaving I heard them call out number 143, Grace and Owen were 25 and 26.  I had a friend who brought her children at 10:10, the event started at 10, they were announcing number 43 when they entered stayed for 2 hours and never got a chance to go through, upon leaving she said the line was out the door and down the sidewalk.
I have realized after this day and a couple of other experiences with the Salvation Army how great of an organization it is.  Even though the day had a few snafus they really know how to pull it all off.  On top of the craft stations in the waiting area they had free hot cocoa and cider, cookies and a movie playing.
I am really looking forward to helping more next year, however next year I will do things differently as well.  For one, my kids will not be leaving with 2 bags full of presents, they will have a much smaller list of people to buy for.  Upon leaving I heard a lady say they were limiting the remaining kids waiting to 5 people on their list.  I will also bring more supplies donate to the event.  This year I donated my remaining bag of purses.  Over the next year I plan to continue to collect and set aside, gift bags, tape, new/used bows, and mens gift items.  These are all things that we went through quick and just having them would speed up the process.
Therefore, I am asking you to help us out!  Set aside your leftover gift bags, bows and tissue paper for us to collect and save for next year!  This was a great event that touched my heart and look forward to doing next year!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Owenism of the weekend

Upon heading home from the store in the car owen says out of the blue, "did I leave with the wrong family?" Ya, not sure where that came from!
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Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Grace's report card

Grace brought home a stellar report card with straight A's! Also had a great conference with her teacher! Just need to start up with the math flashcards again. She is really having a great year and enjoying school and her teacher, who is wonderful! She brought home a report she did on the solar system yesterday and she got a 108%! She really seems to be growing up and taking responsibility for herself. I can't believe the difference in her from just 1to 2 years ago! I have to say I am actually enjoying the tween time! Hoping the teen time goes easy on me!

Monday, August 22, 2011

Badger Family Fun day at Camp Randall

Getting signatures from the players!


Grace and the Cheerleaders!


He's kinda big!

Owen, Sam and Grace

Wrist wrap and eye black just like a football player!

maybe not the punter we had hoped for!

Madison Fire house

Grace got to go down the pole!

Sunday, August 14, 2011

UP bike race

In da UP of michigan this weekend for the ore to shore bike race! Nate and nicole came again this year with the kids /d my dad was up as well. Holly had to work the weekend :(
We had a great weekend as always! Friday we hung aaround the lake house until the afternoon. Later in the day nicole and I took the girls into town to do some shopping. Took grace to the dance store which seems to have become our thing each year. Nice place to get dancewear and shoes! S
Saturday we were off to the races. This year aaron had his personal best time of 2:07 from 2:19! Grace did the 4 mile race and did awesome, 20:15! I rode along with her and we both made each other work hard! Owen did the 4 mile on his two wheeler. Not sure how long since they don't time his race but he did real well and loved it. He couldn't quite understand why he didn't get a trouphy saying " but I won my bike race!"
Annabelle did get a trpophy for 2nd place out of 2 riders in her age group for the 4 mile! Nate did well too finishing 13 in their age group but still no trophy, ha!
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Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Hair raising

Early last week I made the comment about Owen's hair getting so long that he is starting to get Justin Beiber hair!  Ever since he has been obsessed with his "Justin Beiber" hair.  "Mom, is my Justin Beiber hair sticking up?"  "Mom, will you do my hair, are you making it Justin Beiber hair?"  "Mom has to do my hair so its Justin Beiber hair!"  I think you get the point!  It was ohh so cute but started to get a little obsessive!
Today we got new hair, Mohawk hair!!
Grace also got a cut today and just a week or so ago she got a feather put in her hair which is the new fad!  She loves it, you can wash it, brush it, style it and it can stay in as long as you want.  You can even have it taken out and re use it!  She is all about the girly stuff lately!
I will post some pics here soon of Owen's Justin Beiber and Mohawk hair!

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Its an Owen fish!

So proud of my swimming boy! He has been swimming under water, jumping in by himself with a life jacket and without when we are right there. Goo0ing under water doesn't seem to phase him one bit! He doesn't even get water up his nose! What a champ!
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Technology!

Just set up my phone so I can post fromwherever I am, WOW!
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Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Owenism of the day

"Owen, I packed snacks for you to take to Tyson's today!"  Owen:  "What is it?"  Mom:  "Oreo cookies!"  Owen:  "Awwww....", with a sad face.  "I wanted Boo-berries!" (blueberries)  Mom:  (with a big smile on my face)  "I would be happy to pack you blueberries to take as well!"

Time has come....

So Grace turns 10 tomorrow!!  I can't believe we are entering the double digits!  Earlier this week we gained a child.  Grace's bff Allie Brown that has lived in the Minneapolis area for the last year has come to stay with us for the week.  Her parents are busy getting into a new house next week and selling their house here in Janesville.  It has been sad seeing Grace and Allie so far apart.  There are times she talks about missing her and you can tell they will certainly be friends for life, they just have that connection.  They remind me a little of me and my friend Teresa.  Very different personalities, interests, etc. but just fit so well together and just have a connection.  They get along without any great drama and when there is a small tiff it doesn't last long and their back at it again.  Even though Teresa and I have gone down separate roads we have always kept in touch and come together like it was just yesterday that we were around one another.  I can see Allie and Grace being this way too.
Anyway, what I was getting to today was that I let the leash go just a little bit today.  We had our neighbor boy, Sam, coming to hang with us for the day while his mom went to work.  Sam is going into 2nd grade and a really great responsible kid.  They had all asked if they could ride their bikes down to the school that is just a block away and take my phone to keep in touch.  I said that was ok if it was just for about a 1/2 hour because it was so hot today.  Allie road my bike, Sam had brought his and Owen was up to speed on his two wheel bike enough to keep up with them now.  I told the girls they were in charge but not to be bossy about it and they took off.  I watched them to the corner and went inside.  It was a little weird.  I kind of wondered to myself if that was ok and tried to think back to being that age and where I was allowed to go on my bike and mind you it was usually by myself.  I remember days of riding down to the Port Pool, Teresa's house in the country and even into Rapids to the mall which took almost 35min. or maybe longer!  However, I couldn't remember what age any of that was at!  I guess 10 is the age that you can really start staying home on your own for short periods of time.  My friend Kim has been doing that with her daughter Becca who just turned 11 now and even started babysitting!  Don't think Grace is quite ready for that.  Anyhow, I knew that the group of them would be good together and being that they were in a group that is better as well.  Grace had my phone and called when they got there and when they were on their way back.  Later that afternoon they went over again.  About a half hour later I the phone rang and I figured they were on their way back.  But it was Grace calling to say that Owen fell.  I asked how he fell and how badly hurt he was as I could hear him crying.  All I got was "Well, he is bleeding".  Yikes!  I told her I would hop in the car and come to get him.  When I got there Allie was waving me down and Grace was sitting beside Owen comforting him which was SO sweet to see!  Owen was just fine, Allie said he just tripped and his knee was just barely scraped!  Of course I was relieved and very happy at how the kids handled the situation.  Needless to say I gave Grace a big pat on the back and took my baby home to clean him up, get a bandaid and kiss his boo boo.  At least I have that with him for another couple years!
Side note:  So, after I got Owen home and bandaged up his knee Grace and Allie came in the door asking how he was doing.  He was laying on the couch with his feet up and says to Grace "Fine, but my knee still burns", he says this in a little whinny voice and Grace gives him a little hug.  He limps around the house for a bit saying "oouch" while all the kids swoon over him bringing him water and catering to him.  Talk about milking it for all its worth!

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Summer so far...

The King family summer so far has been quite fun!  We started out the season with camping on Memorial weekend in Steven's Point WI.  Really nice grounds with a pool, jumping pillow, peddle bikes and lots of kids activities.  We had a visit on Sunday from my Dad and Holly.
The next weekend Aaron and I headed to N.C. for Jeremy and Maria's wedding.  It was a blast seeing all of their friends from the past, ha!  It was really nice to see a lot of people we hadn't seen in almost 10 years.  It was so much fun to see how everyone just hung together so well.  Favorite part of the weekend would be sitting on the big wrap around porch in the rocking chairs hearing all the MI guys tell goofy stories about the past!  The wedding of course was beautiful and a lot of fun, we are so happy for the newlyweds! 
The weekend after was Grace's dance nationals in WI Dells.  We camped there with Joe and Heather.  Grace's dance groups did a outstanding job and took High Gold awards in both dances!  We ventured into the dells and rode the ducks and go carts and went to Chula Vista one day to try out the waterpark.
4th of July weekend started off with a visit with Adam and Amy and kids at Kay and Mike's house in IL.  It was so great to see them and get to catch up after close to a year!  Sure do miss those guys and crossing our fingers they decide to move back to the midwest after their Penn State time has expired ;)  That evening we took off after dinner to head north!  Weekend was spent in Winchester WI with the Ghiloni Family.  The weather there was absolutley gorgeous which can be a rare thing this time of year in the northwoods!  We got plenty of time at the "private" beach at the house!  Mark took us out on the boat to take the kids fishing where they were once again reeling them in faster than we could get them off the hook.  Funny thing is later on the evening and again on Sunday the adults went out and could barely get a bite!  We enjoyed some of the other activities in the area with the Winchester boat parade on our lake.  Bobber races, volleyball tournament and pie eating contest at the Winchester park.  We closed the evening with tailgating and fireworks in Ironwood MI with the whole family and friends.  Aaron had to leave on Monday for work that week but the kids and i ended up staying till Friday.  We had some quality time with Grandma MiMi in Minocqua on Wednesday where we visited Pecks wildlife.  What a great place!  They had SO many animals and I thought it was better than any zoo I had ever been to.  You got to feed and pet goats, giant turtles, bunnies, a skunk, deer and even feed a bear some special bear soda, that was behind a cage of course!  They had a big cage where you could go in with the birds and hold them.  They had parrots that talked back and said "hello".  There were wolves, white tiger, beavers, eagles, camels, zebra, kangaroos, every bird you could imagine and all the animals were in close view!  Owen said the camel was "adorable"!  He was amazed by the peacocks.  Grace fell in love with the baby bunnies.  It really was a great experience!  That afternoon we enjoyed lunch downtown and hit the shops.  I was surprised the kids lasted and without any whining!  It was a fantastic day!  Thursday morning we headed over to the Manotowish Waters Flee Market which always proves to be an interesting affair!  Lots of interesting odds and ends but some treasures to be found as well.  Us girls found some nice jewelry!  On Friday we headed out after watching the last space shuttle launch.  We stopped in Plover to visit my dad and holly for a short while but ended up staying the afternoon and didn't head out till 5:30pm.  However, it was a beautiful day and ended up spending a couple hours out on the boat with them which was a great time!
So, now we have been home for the last couple weekends and it has been really great to get caught up.  I did manage to trim back a bunch of bushes and plants and catch up on some much needed cleaning.  Aaron was able to get some items fixed on the camper.  After all that I did find myself kind of twiddling my thumbs this last week.  After racking my brain trying to figure out where to go next I made the executive decision to procrastinate, go figure, and just relax and enjoy some time with the kids AT HOME!!!    But, there is always more awaiting our attention.  When I take a look at my list of "household" projects I start to get a little jealous of my brother and sister inlaw and their condo life with no fixing and pruning and repairing, etc.... and for a minute I think it might not be such a bad way to go!  So, Amy if your reading this remember that when you guys are looking to move on, ha!!  Well, after a morning at the Edgerton Tabacco Days Parade and some afternoon computer work I am going to move on from this chair now and enjoy the rest of the late afternoon with some good friends and dinner they are cooking for us tonight!  Adios for now!   I will post some pictures, later!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Recital 2011



Well dance recital weekend this year turned out to be a family affair!  Well, almost, I just couldn't convince Aaron to let me find him a spot in the show!  That's alright he took good care to play host to all the family members that turned out to support us!
It started out to be a crazy weekend with the Bon Jovi concert in Milwaukee with my friend Tiana.  The concert was a Valentines Day gift to her and I from her husband!  What a guy ;)  Anyhow, we had rehearsal that evening with the agenda of me getting to do my practice stage run as quickly as possible by 6pm to be on the road to Milwaukee for the 7:30 show.  We accomplished our goal and had a great time hanging out with John and Tiana and I got to see my childhood crush, Jon for a 4th rendezvous!  A great show as usual!

Sunday morning we rushed back home to get ready for the next performance!  I was feeling pretty confident for my big recital debut since 1995!  I had joined up with the class only 5wks. before the recital and had been practicing at home enough to be able to smile through deep concentration on stage.  I am happy to say I accomplished my goal and enjoyed performing on stage.

Owen also had his debut in the freestyle break dancing.  He got to do a little freestyle duet with another little boy in his dance class.  He was a little shy compared to what I have seen out of him.  Apparently according to him he was scared of one of the students in the group dressed as a Gorilla!  Even though he knew it was Adrian in the costume from the beginning.  He eventually got into it putting his hood on his sweatshirt up half way through his dance to look the part!

Grace of course shined as she always does.  It was a little bit of a treat for me this time around to see her do a dance I had never seen.  She did a jazz dance with her class on Tuesday nights when I am at work.  The dance was combined with another group of older dancers which was a cool thing for her to dance with the older kids!  She of course did her hip hop and jazz competition dances as well.  They always rock the house with their hip hop!  Grace also did the freestyle break dance and had a whole self choreographed number that she got to show off!

Thank you to all the family that came out to watch, it was so great to have you all there!  Special thanks to my Mom and Tom for once again making the long trip down for such a short stay!  Aunt Linda (Aaron's), hope that you seriously think about those tap classes, you don't know what your missing!

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Costa Rica Part 1

What a wonderful vacation full of once in a lifetime experiences! We arrived in San Jose at about 10am after a red eye flight. We had private transportation set up to take us 2 1/2 hrs. to our hotel Mountain Paradise in La Fourtuna, the town outside Aeranal Volcano. The ride to the hotel was our first adventure. Driving through San Jose was eye opening and a little worrisome as to what we were heading into. The outskirts of San Jose is very 3rd world country-ish. Lots of shacks on the side of the roads with metal roofs, animals roaming around yards and on the side of the roads. Lots of trash and people walking along side of the busy roads. However as we left the San Jose area the scenery changed very quickly. The long straight highway lead into winding and twisting roads up and down through the hills. We sped through small towns and around these crazy corners. Our driver a pro at navigating the crazy route. The drivers we had on our trip were all crazy fast drivers and none of us ever experienced anything like it. It was exhilarating and nerve racking all at the same time. Getting closer to the volcano was beautiful with lush valleys with cattle and farm land. Arriving at Mountain Paradise the volcano was hidden under misty clouds but still breath taking! The resort was beautiful and we were greeted by a lady bearing hot towels and fresh fruit juice that provided much refreshment after the long harrowing drive. We checked into our private little villa that had a wonderful porch with a outdoor jacuzzi and a bathroom that was probably the size of our bedroom at home with 2 showers, one of them being a natural waterfall shower! We had a great view of the volcano right from our bed looking out the huge glass patio doors.
That afternoon we enjoyed a nice lunch at the open air restaurant. Later on that day we took advantage of the hotel pool and closed it down at 10pm!
The next morning we awoke an hour earlier than we needed due to operator air of the alarm. However, I was happy to look out the patio window and see the top of the volcano out from under the clouds. It was so clear you could see the smoke rising from the top! I couldn't get enough pictures it was so breathtaking! We headed out a couple hours later for our Zip Line adventure at Sky Trek Adventures. After we were geared up with harnesses, pulleys, helmets and gloves we headed up to the top of the zipline by the Sky Tram, 3,074ft. up! The first two zip lines out of a total of 8 were just short practice runs and not even close to the "real" first line that was #3 the highest of the lines at 656ft! My fear of heights was at its ultimate test. Looking out at the zipline to the end, 1, 550ft. long I realized that one look was plenty. Nate went first, Nicole second. As she stepped up for our guide to hook her to the line I could hear her breathing in and out deeply. As they zoomed her off I could feel my knees getting a little weak. It was a good thing there was someone there to hook me up and send me off because I know I wouldn't have had the courage to do it myself. As I stepped I too started with the deep breathing exercises and praying to god to give me some courage. As I zoomed off I could feel my heart fall into my stomach and I felt weightless and like I was in the middle of nowhere. The ride was INSANE racing across the sky thousands of feet above the tree tops. It was unreal like nothing I could have ever imagined! The scariest thing I had ever done in my whole life but amazing all at the same time. So indescribable. On I think the the 4th cable there was a hawk circling above. When I was flying through the air he flew about 10ft. over the top of me, close enough that I could see his eyes peering down at me! The 6th cable was the fastest at upwards of 50mph. depending on your weight. I wouldn't doubt that Aaron hit the zipline speed record he came in for his landing so fast!! The 7th line was the longest at 2,460 ft. and a duration of about 45sec. This one went part way through the trees where you could feel just how fast you were going. After we had finished I was speechless and felt like my whole body was exhausted.
That afternoon we enjoyed lunch in La Fortuna and did a little window shopping before heading back to the hotel for the next adventure! Late afternoon we were whisked off to the edge of the lava flow trail where we hiked over the lava fields to a volcano view point. Afterward, we went to Tabacon Resort to relax in the hot spring pools and have dinner.
More to follow soon.......

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Bomb Scare

Grace's school was evacuated due to a bomb scare today. "Scare" is the appropriate word for this and the word "scare" is a relief in a lot of ways however, this was still a very real action. Indeed there was a kid with a plan. He did make a device and did bring it on the bus and did have intentions and talked about causing harm. Luckily the device was made with only 11yr. old skills and wasn't a working bomb. Not to discount that a 11yr old couldn't find a way to make a working bomb. I am just happy that this 11yr old didn't have the proper tools. I think about the reality in this and look back on past events such as Columbine and other school related incidents that have gone wrong and just thanking God that we weren't added to the list today. Hugging my Gracie just a little tighter this afternoon!

Here is what the paper reported about the bomb scare today at Grace's school:

MILTON—An 11-year-old student is in custody for allegedly bringing a fake bomb onto a school bus this morning and making threats to detonate the device, according to the Milton Police Department.

A bus driver reported shortly before 9 a.m. that he saw a student on his bus in possession of an apparent bomb, and that he heard “a student nearest the device state that he had a bomb and threatened to detonate the device either on the bus or in the school,” according to a news release from the Milton Police Department.

The bus at the time was parked outside of Northside Intermediate School, which is located at 159 Northside Dr., Milton.

The Milton Police Department, the Rock County SWAT team and a bomb squad from the Winnebago (Ill.) County Sheriff’s officer were called to the school. The bus and the school were evacuated, and students were taken to a middle school in Milton.

Shortly before 11 a.m. today, negotiators with the SWAT team coaxed the student away from the device and off of the bus, taking the student into custody without incident.

The bomb squad then removed and destroyed the device, which was a child’s video game with wires and batteries attached to it. There were no explosives on the device, police said.

Officers and school district administrators searched inside the school and found nothing suspicious, police said.

The student remains in custody this afternoon, and it’s not clear whether the student gave a motive for the threat or for bringing the fake bomb onto the bus.

Parents were informed of the incident by electronic calls from the district. School was cancelled for the remainder of the day and will resume as normal on Thursday, police said.

The Milton Fire Department and EMS were on standby throughout the incident.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

No more rescue Mom

So, for the past year or maybe even more we have been struggling with Grace to get her to take some responsibility for herself. I understand that she is only 9 but feel like I am always on her and hounding her about something. Brush your teeth, comb your hair, don't forget your homework, lunch, books, shoes, change your underwear, blah...blah...blah. It not only wears me out but she gets frustrated hearing this day in and day out and repeatability telling her doesn't seem to even be effective in her trying to remember on her own.
I have been thinking a lot lately about my parenting skills and practices. Thinking a lot about the Love and Logic class that Aaron and I took when Owen was just a baby. It really made a lot of sense but found it hard to stick with and sometimes requires a bit of thought and a step back from the situation. Just recently a friend and I were talking about homework. She was telling me about a book called Ending the Homework Hassle and how leaving the responsibility to the child and letting them take the reigns and get things done on their own in order to build responsibility skills and a sense of both control and consequence. I started reading the book and a very familiar example in the first chapter really made things com to light. It talked about a Mom and her son Billy. Every day when Billy got home from school Mom went on the big homework hunt digging out his homework from his bag and asking Billy what he needed to do. Mom sat him down at the kitchen table and hovered over him in between cooking dinner and taking care of the other kids. As Mom hovered Billy pouted and piddled at the papers which caused Mom to hover more and eventually get so upset and lecture at him which would cause Dad to perk up and come and yell at Billy for getting Mom upset and just making everything even more stressful. Getting into the book further they talked about how parents tend to take too much responsibility for their kids and do things for them instead of the kids doing it for themselves. In turn if your kids always expect you to be there to remind them, show them, lead them and do things for them they will never learn to remember do these things themselves. There is also the fact of consequences and learning from them. Billy learned that if he didn't take it upon himself to get his spelling homework completed and turned in that he would not only get a bad grade but fail that spelling test too. So in other words this book has taught me to take a step back and end the battle! Grace is now in charge of figuring out what she needs to have brought home for homework or to study, she has till 8pm to get her work done without us asking, telling or yelling at her to get it done and her whining back to us about it. My job is to sit back and let her take the reigns. I have put so much stress upon myself to make sure Grace's homework is done and Grace did her reading and Grace had all of her things for school the next day. Hello! It is Grace's job not mine! She is going to school, not me! Just like helping her with school work, it is her work to do not mine. If she needs help I will coach her but not do it for her or give the answer, if she doesn't like the way I am trying to explain or method then I will refer her back to her teacher.
So, I am sure you are asking, "How is this goin for ya?". Well, it has only just begun this week so we are still in the training process. She has done really well this week and we have had less struggles and arguments which is wonderful. We had really fallen into a trap of her fighting on us to get things done. She doesn't want to do her required reading anymore and was filling out her time sheet herself and signing our names. We came across this and she ended up getting 0's for her time by cheating. That seemed to sting a little for her. On top of it her reading log was to be turned in today which she has been worrying about forgetting all week and this am she called me to ask to bring it into school to her. This was a wide awakening for me. Knowing it was her responsibility to remember it and the fact that I wasn't going out today I simply told her "Ohh Grace that is a real bummer that you forgot but I am not going out today so I won't be able to bring it." I could her the sadness and whimper in her voice and it melted my heart. See, ordinarily I would come to her rescue and run it right over!! But now I know this is part of the problem and the crutch of being a stay at home mom. I start to fall into that trap of "I am here for the kids" and its my job to "do" things for them. Well, yes and no. It is not my job to make sure Grace has her reading log it is hers. Maybe next time she will remember to stick it in her backpack in the evening after dad signs it instead of the chair in her room and expecting that "Ohh well, Mom will just be home to bring it". Well, at age 30 when she has a report for work she left at home Mom won't be there to bring it.
I think about the Grandparents that will read this and what you will all say. I think about how you tell us that we are too hard on her and gripe at her all the time. A lot of times I think, "BUTT OUT"! If I don't gripe it won't get done!! But now that I am looking at things differently maybe you are right. Maybe you are telling me to back off! I get it now. My mom never ran to my rescue to bring my left behind homework, she couldn't, I had to learn to figure it out myself and so should my kids. I have realized now I have fallen into the stay at home mom trap and it is eating me alive! I have been so stressed with Grace not doing what she needs to do and fighting with her about it. I know now I need to let my kids do the things they can do themselves and not stepping in to do it just to get it done for them. I know Owen can put on his boots himself but I still do it because "I can". My friend Kim gave me an eye opener one day. She has 4 toddlers during the day and when she gets them ready to go out to the car one of the kids, Brielle won't put her boots on herself even though she knows how to do it and she won't because Mom always does it for her. Well, being Kim and having 4 toddlers to get out the door she can't take the time to put 4 pairs of boots on and shouldn't have to if they know how to do it.
So, as a I take a deep breath I remind myself to take a step back and let them gain some responsibility for themselves and have the ultimate gift and that is self confidence in doing things on their own. That doesn't go to say that the day won't come when I will be sad that I don't have a little ones hand to hold when crossing the parking lot, that one might be required just a little longer than really needed.
It is a huge step to realize your kids are growing up and you need to take small steps back. But I realize now that it is not only for their well being but our whole family and my well being!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Christmas G&G Kurtz

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Christmas G&G Walsh

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Christmas #1 & #2

Alright, better late than never I suppose! We spent our Christmas Eve with Kay and Mike and it was a real nice evening. A great dinner of beef and noodles, what a treat! Kids were SO excited to see what was in store for them in the great pile of packages under the tree! We had decided to open our presents for the kids along with Kay and Mikes due to the early afternoon departure the next day to my Dad and Holly's.
We let the kids go at it and they got some really nice and much needed things! Grace got some clothes from Justice, a bop it game and a really nice stand alone jewelry box from Kay and Mike! From us she got a pink puffy vest with furry hood that she has worn just about every day since it was opened! A Knot a Quilt which we haven't quite finished yet. Owen got her the Operation game!
Owen also got a really cute warm up suit from Mike and Kay as well as a McQueen remote car for his train set and his first Nerf gun! We did a joint gift for Owen and Grace that seemed to be a big hit which was a Melissa and Doug pizza and cookie set and a cash register. Owen had a good time playing pizza chef!
Aaron got a Apple Tv that adapts to our tv and can stream lots of things from music from Itunes library and Netflix and we LOVE it! Got some help from a neighbor on NYE and were able to get it set up so all of our music on our ITunes library streams through the TV and we rocked out the rest of the night with our friends! I received some much needed pj's and a really beautiful vase for my niche!
The evening was great spent watching Santa on Norad to see where he would travel. After Kay and Mike headed for home we loaded up the family and attended our first mass at the Lutheran church. Ended up sitting by some of our good friends and really enjoyed the mass! On the way home we made a small round about trip to look at Christmas lights and headed home to get the kids snuggled into bed! Grace set out some cookies and a cute note telling Santa that we were out of carrots for the reindeer and that she likes when he comes and that she will love whatever he leaves for her. She also asked for him to leave something for her AG dolls if he could.
The next am Aaron and I awoke and saw that it was after 8am. We heard Grace go out to the livingroom. We waited for her to run in but after about 10min. she still hadn't Owen had come out and they were discussing their gifts under the tree. Finally I yelled out to them to come and wake us up! I really thought they would be more excited than that!!
Later on we loaded up for G&G Jack and Holly's to spend the weekend. We had a great time with lots of time visiting with my Dad and Holly and Grandma Helen. Sunday was Holly's family Christmas and we got to catch up with the Kuhn family which had been a long time coming! Good gifts were received as well. Favorites would be a whoopie cushion for Owen, ha! Grace's fav would be the Easy Bake oven. Mine would have to be really pretty flower wall hooks from Pier One and for Aaron a remote start for his car! We enjoyed a lot of good food as usual from the Kurtz chefs. Beef Tenderloin which was fabulous! We had gotten to visit with my cousin Kay and Abby and Grace got to visit Missy and get her out to ride at the barn!
Couldn't have asked for a better holiday! Great weather, good food, gifts and wonderful company, doesn't get any better than that!